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- From the Heart -
SUBJECT: From the heart. A very earnest good morning to you, I'm so exhausted that I'm seeing double, so this might not be my best work. I'm actually taking the huge step of drinking a cup o' coffee to get me thru it. 1. Today Dad honored me by making me his agent via a durable power of attorney. He was not pressured or bum rushed into it in any way. In fact, I made it clear, with an entire law firm as witnesses, that if he feels someone else is the best man for the job, he MUST choose them and if he feels my arguments lack merit, he MUST reject them. That is the approach I've always taken with him, for he deserves nothing less. He, without reservation, took what he thought was the best path and is totally at peace with his decision. 2. Last month/year I completed the process I've called "Keeping Up With the Flozberks." All charges after 12/28/18 are strictly for Dad. If I go grocery shopping for him and need an 89 cent jar of mustard for my home, I do a separate transaction and pay for it myself. We look forward to spending plenty of our own money on Dad in the future. You spent $172,539.04 (the real number is actually significantly higher). I spent $172,539.12. Yep, I went 8 cents over in a truly anticlimactic screwup that's actually a bit amusing. I've written a little thing about it that I'll produce for your perusal shortly. I understand you found this objectionable, and like I've always said, if you can produce a valid reason why I was in the wrong, I'll give it back. The goal was fairness down to the penny, nothing more and nothing less. I have complete, detailed records and will be happy to go over them with you. 3. Your input regarding all aspects of Dad's life is most welcome. I insist in the strongest terms that your voice be heard. You are a very important, greatly valued member of our family and, frankly, I don't know what we would have done without you guys. That doesn't mean, as I've made quite clear, that I find some things quite objectionable, but I'm starkly unwilling to allow that to cancel out all the wonderful things you've done not just for Mom and Dad, but for me, too. That's not how I want to live. 4. Long ago, when Mom went down and John was wreaking havoc on me, you were like my second mother. Your home was like a safe port in a raging storm. You and Reagan were the rocks that got me though some of the toughest times in my life. It's quite possible that I literally owe you my very life. Your generosity when I was a teen helped fuel some of the best times a young, fun-loving man could ever have. No matter what happens, I'll always be very grateful to you and Reagan for the gigantic difference you made in my life and I truly love you both dearly until the day I die. 5. I am hellbent on serving my role in the family with a strict policy of full disclosure. That is actually at odds with the legal advice I've been given, but I don't care. I want you to know everything that is happening and to have a say in everything. 6. I've gone to great lengths to put myself in your shoes and try understand why you've reacted the way you have after all those years of miserable difficulties. I'm still baffled and dismayed by a lot of it, but I'm also very sympathetic to your plight and do indeed feel your pain. Not a day goes by in which I don't worry about you and Ryan, who has been my buddy since he was a toddler. When you're not well, I'm not well and I truly wish you guys the best with all my heart. 7. I've begun a detailed audit of Xxxxxx finances. It's simply not right that nobody named Xxxxxx knows exactly how much money the Xxxxxx family has. It's been a huge concern of Dad's and it needs to be straightened out. About $1.8M must be accounted for. Dad was very frustrated at being kept in the dark, and that, plus several other things that I'll refrain from listing, spurred him to take action. He approached me about grabbing the bull by the horns, not the other way around. I never tell people what to do - that goes against my strongest convictions. I simply did tons of research and delivered my findings and opinions while making it clear that, in the end, I'd do whatever he asked. 8. Your family is here to help you if you need it. I am 100% in support of making sure nothing bad happens to you guys and part of that position is actually selfish on my part, for if you're not doing well, a part of me is not doing well. If you find yourself with your back to the wall, we are here for you. I want you to always know that. Dad loves you with all his heart, as do I, and even if my investigation reveals what some might consider malfeasance, we are very heavily inclined to support and protect you. If everything turns out square, nobody will be happier than I, but, if there's something we need to know, your honesty and cooperation are appreciated. I'm certainly not trying to lure you into a trap - my words are totally earnest. Even if there is a problem, Dad and I find the notion of getting you into any trouble wholly unpalatable. 9. If there has been a new imbalance in the benefits we have received from the Xxxxxx vault since your stretch of spending apparently stopped in 11/2016, please understand that both my and Dad's position will be that parity must be pursued and achieved again. I hope that's not the case, for I want this sort of thing to be over with and behind us. My household is in very good shape with a safety margin of at least 12 years of painstakingly-assembled security, so I have no need or desire for any of Dad's money unless a new disparity exists. Again, I hope that's not the case. If you find my stance on that matter objectionable or invalid, your opinion is very welcome and will be taken seriously. 10. The Xxxxx Bank situation was simply not acceptable. Frankly, I wouldn't want to be Thom right now. Dad, with the help of a superb attorney he likes very much, is taking vigorous action to have his money put in a better bank that pays a better rate and won't deny him access to information about his own money. There is no way any rational person can object to that. Dad and I will diligently work to ensure all our interests are well-protected. 11. Know that the golden opportunity Dad extended to me completely changed our lives. I was able to boldly and fearlessly invest our life savings in some rare and extremely lucrative opportunities that exceeded my wildest expectations and freed us from all the chains of the past and opened new, much better paths for us. Dad is thrilled about that. My old life is gone forever, replaced by a much better version. The long struggle to survive in an increasingly difficult world is now behind us, and for a couple of aging, permanently disabled people, that's some seriously fine news. 12. I've learned that wrath, one of the seven deadly sins, tends to be a dreadful way to handle disagreements. I want to be a problem solver and make things better. People should, whenever possible, sit down and resolve their disputes while looking one another in the eye and pursuing a favorable outcome with good faith. Foolish, angry behavior tends to blow up in one's face and create the opposite of the desired result. Life is too short for such missteps. 13. After his name, his address is the second most fundamentally important thing a man has. Dad isn't ready for his existence as a man...as a boss...to wither and die. I will be working, with Dad's blessing, to bring his address back to life. All mail will go to his house, no mail leaves his house, please, and everyone gets to see everything and every action will be logged and accounted for. 14. I hope I've been able to provide you some comfort now in a long, difficult situation that I suspect may have been caused by some simple misunderstandings. When we got home Wednesday night, my very first inclination was to try and put your mind at ease, or at least in a better place than it surely was. When I think of you being worried or upset, it makes me worried and upset. I was honestly surprised at how heavily that aspect of the situation weighed upon me. I can't quite find the words to describe how much I hope we can someday all be friends again. 15. Please, please, please no more inaccurate defamation of my character. There are many examples, but for one, Dad finds the claim that I "relentlessly degraded" Mom on her deathbed absurd and extremely offensive, and he was there to bear witness essentially 24/7. That's an absolutely hideous charge that should not be flung recklessly. Dad would have mistrusted me for life had anything remotely resembling that occurred. Please understand that if untruths about me are disseminated with abandon, that gives me license to disseminate truths about my attacker(s) with equal or greater abandon. 16. I've found that when one has been at war for too long, be it in a jungle or in a courtroom, it inevitably blackens their soul and changes how they react to the world around them. If you have any gripes about me, I very much want you to feel free to air them out, but I honestly beg you to refrain from letting your emotions allow the truth to be stretched and mangled in the future. We all have a solemn duty to deal with our valued fellows in good faith. In some contexts, playing dirty may be acceptable or even desirable, but with friends and family, even when a difficult situation is at hand, the inclination to say anything in pursuit of coming out on top is wrong on many levels. 17. Please don't hassle Dad about this. He did what he knew was best and, again, I promise you and Dad that I will do my very best on all our behalves and welcome your scrutiny and input. Let's go on a mission to have a much better year and keep a big smile on that most excellent gentleman's face. He really is one hell of a uniquely good guy and our loyalty, devotion, and gratitude to him is so strong that it almost hurts. I can clearly see why Mom's firm resolution to not remarry melted like butter in his presence. 18. We are eager and honored to help Dad (and you guys, too) in any reasonable way possible. Please feel free to ask us to step in and help with anything, anytime. If we can lighten your load and give you more time to yourself and your now-expanded family, we welcome the opportunity. Just say the word and we're on it. It is very important to me that you have a good quality of life. The fact that I've strongly objected to some things doesn't change that, and the more time that passes the stronger that feeling becomes. Frankly, I wasn't expecting to feel that way, but after an enormous amount of consideration, that's what I feel and I just can't change it - you were simply too dear and helpful to me and us in the past to just throw it all away. 18. I love and miss you guys very much, and that's the complete, honest truth. I'm most certainly not just saying "what Dad wants to hear." I never just say what someone wants to hear. Seriously, I just don't do that - I would choke on the words. I strive to be brutally honest and earnest, and yes, sometimes that can be troublesome, but in the end it's the only way I'm willing to live and is reliably the best policy at the end of the day. 19. I've just fallen asleep mid-paragraph for the first time in my life. Fortunately, I wasn't driving at the time. I guess that means it's time to wrap it up, even though I've likely omitted some things. Your questions, comments, critiques, and objections are always welcome and I pledge with all my heart to cooperate with you if you can just deal with us in good faith. I'm extremely confident that following that path will leave all us much better off in both the short and the long run. We need to turn this thing around. That's my story and I'm stickin' with it, and every word is how I honestly feel. I thank you for your mindful consideration. Love and regards, Chuck |