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00:08 Intro
Nine days before Xmas Eve, 2018, a conflict broke out between my girlfriend Lisa and Neila. Uncertain about Dad's medication, Lisa texted for info. They ended up on the phone. Neila veered to inquisitions neither relevant nor any of her damn business and was civily rebuffed, triggering an outburst.

Lisa, immune to intimidation by such a rank buffoon, hung up on her silly ass.

This was almost a year into a family battle and power struggle between me and The Flozzies, with poor Dad in the middle.  My household and theirs would cross paths in person just 4 times that year as we co-cared for Dad, with this the 2nd of those 4.

I explained/protested often in writing - that's the best way to have both a paper trail and relief from the tsunami of interrupting Neila reliably unleashes. They remained almost entirely silent, preferring to maneuver in the shadows.

After her telephonic termination, Neila rushed to Dad's and initiated a conflict. Several minutes in, Lisa started recording. This fascinating video bares an eruption of toxic behavior from The Sue Chef and actually made a hard-assed, no-nonsense friend of ours who knew Dad cry.

01:42 Bank Accounts
Neila, armed with power of attorney Dad had no recollection of signing, seized Dad's savings account, got him to sell his million-dollar stock portfolio that provided the large majority of his income, and deposited the funds in said account.

Here she is exalting the insignificant convenience of the coming switch to everything going through one account under her control instead of the claimed "5 or 6" under Dad's and my control.

Dad had 4 accounts including that savings account, the various accounts had their perks, Dad loved free money, and he didn't have to deal with any of it anyhow. What pain is being spared by fewer accounts?

3 seconds in, Neila is already full of shit.

01:48 DON'T WORRY!
Even when trying to be comforting, Neila is bossy and intimidating before alternating back to mugging for the camera, a-fussin' over him.

After Neila's months-long, bogus campaign to topple me from handling Dad's affairs finally gained ground, the responsibility for paying his bills was turned over to her side. Nothing was paid and, for the first time, Dad had the words "Late fee" on his statements.

Inaction continued far into the next billing cycle, so I paid his overdues, then informed him that someone was slacking and, had I not intervened, there's a fair chance his power would have been briefly shut off.

02:58 Greasy PoA Over Demented Aydin
There are serious questions as to whether Aydin was of sound mind when Neila's remarkable, Flozberks'-pockets-stuffing PoA with him came to pass.

And, The Flozberks have a LONG reputation as the most disease-ridden and unsanitary people we've known.

Dad was a rapidly declining octogenarian and former ~60 year smoker with COPD and a chronic respiratory infection, constantly couging up brown, foul phlegm unlike anything I've seen or heard of. Or smelled. Poor ol' guy was coated in it. We had to make spittoons out of milk jugs + liner bags and distribute them throughout the house - one is visible on the table between Dad and the peanuts.

So, after licking the phlegm offa Dad's choppers, Neila panders to the camera some more and Dad gives us a sad look into the world inflicted upon him by The Flozberks.

When a guy says that a family split into warring factions and almost all communication flowing in one direction is "part of life," the poor chap has been marinated in dysfunction. Victims of continual child sexual abuse often say they held similar notions - it was all just part of life.

After that sad bit of insight, Dad chapped Neila's ass something AWFUL by graciously acknowledging Lisa. Neila tried to head that off by interrupting him with a pathetic diversion to her husband Reagan. That's not the last time we will see this here - Neila is a textbook whataboutist.

In whatabouting, she botched his name, too, but, see - they're still getting used to each other, married only about 41 years (almost 1.3 billion seconds) at this point. That's not the last time we will see this. Let us examine:

She habitually botches the names of those around her. I've heard it hundreds, if not thousands of times. Often, she would call me a kitchen sink of her son's, husband's, and my names, bringing to mind John Madden's Turducken.

Never have I seen anyone else do this outside of occasional stumbles. Every last person I know reliably gets their family members' names right.

So, what the hell is going on here?

First, she's simply a mess between the ears. Sloppy, ignorant, undisciplined, and rotted by GIGO. And, that hot mess runs hard and fast, an especially noxious combination.

Worse, she doesn't seem to see others as people. To her, they're like puppies and dollies and demons and nothings in a twisted world of the overwrought and disregarded. Her blindnesses, variously filtered, toward The Other (existentially speaking), are dominant and seen many times in this video.

In a somewhat similar communicative dehumanization, Mom would often disregard peripheral people's names and instead referred to 'em as "thing," as in "What time are you going to....thing's house?" She generally didn't know my friends' or teachers' names, etc., but she damn sure at least nailed the inner circle's names every time.

04:35 "I Love That Girl"
Just plain superb. Dad pushes back and sticks up for Lisa. The "whatever she says is going to be done" line was a shot at Neila's chronic windbaggery. She responds by intimidating him and again wedging in the expected whatabout-me-ism.

In trying to keep her head above water and mug for the camera, she instead ended up all wet, looking petty, crooked, and desperate.

The primary reason Dad loved Lisa so much is simple - she was the only woman in his life for over 50 years who was not a fuckin' KOOK. She treated him like a man, not a stepping stone or special needs child

Additionally, he loved Lisa because she never made senseless trouble, had ethics and earnestness beyond reproach, and always did a great job, picking up much critical slack left by the perpetually-shabby Flozzies.

05:23 Pink Things and Querstion Marks
We had dug into our respective trenches and stayed away from one another in trying to keep tenuous hold on the peace. I used pink-highlighted duplicate-printed monthly calendars and accompanying notes to maintain order over our routine and any deviations.

The Flozberks were often sloppy with scheduling and execution, sending me to take Dad to appointments that were a week or a month away, missing their shifts, and showing up when it wasn't their shift.

07:48 "I Have Pictures of Every Meal"
Two months after Lisa's May, 2016 surgery that greatly boosted our household's mettle, she started rehabbing at Baylor. After a month, she added Tuesday lunch with Dad, who lived between us and therapy. So, that started August, 2016, 28 months before this annoying afternoon.

The odd "pictures" utterance stems from The Monster Clash, my first direct conflict with Tiffany in our 31 year ride. Annoyed at a long list of Flozzie shortcuts and half-assedness and overly worked up after Dad got quite hacked up in skin cancer removal, I left them a provocative essay about elder care, nutrition, and surgery, offering to take over if they couldn't learn to cut the muster.

I also explicitly threatened to kick someone square in the butt if they didn't get it together, which, both amusingly and unfortunately, sent those snowflakes into a tizzy.

Tiffany found the essay and about came unglued. A brief, but rich n' spicy exchange resulted.

The Flozberks, now under scrutiny, cleaned up their act a bit and started feeding Dad better. That was early August, 2018, so if they had been photographing every meal, it started about 4 months prior due to "Monster" and was simply not an issue prior to that.

It is indisputable that Lisa had been having Tuesday lunch with Dad for 2+ years and astronomically unlikely that Neila had two+ years of photos of the depressing meals they fed Dad, much less Tuesday lunch shots, period.

She is simply lying.

12:15 Thanksgiving a Damn
The month before, we kept asking Dad to find out how The Flozzies wanted to handle Thanksgiving. They would not provide an answer.

Since we'd been avoiding each other almost all year, there was no reason for Thanksgiving to be any different. Dad suggested we split the day, but hey, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that. The Flozzies had traditionally eaten early, before the Cowboys game, and Dad's camp had always eaten at night.

So, oddly enough, I suggested they do early and we take over with a lighter offering at night. I had friends a couple hours away in a bucket list situation, so I planned to head east early, then return and do Dad's.

We got no reply until Thanksgiving Eve, and it was from Dad. He said those wacky Flozberks skipped town and he needed us to take their shifts 'till maybe Monday.

12:48 "Poor Lisa"
One of Neila's worst displays here. As Lisa said something important, Neilus Interruptus again reared its ugly head, cutting her off straight mid-sentence.

Why?

To bear false witness in a massacre of the truth. And, throw in a bonus full name botch! What a red-hot mess.

She claimed I complained that "poor Lisa" had to trouble herself to tend to the old man 3 times. Actually, I lamented that I had to cancel my other plans after they kept silent, then skipped town at the last minute. She then tried to twist that into an implication that we dislike caring for Dad.

Seeing someone stoop to being greasy and moronic makes my heart bleed for Neila - it's not a good world that squeezes out such antics. May her perspective improve before its too late.

My letter cited by Neila is clearly shown in the video and badly at odds with her alternate reality.

l reiterate that under no circumstances would I relay to Neila any sort of "Poor Lisa had to take care of Dad" impression even if anyone actually felt that way, which we certainly didn't. It's mind-boggling she would try that. Seriously.

15:14 Neila Jumps the Shark
Neila is pretty rattled now and things are getting more away from her. The longer she stays, the more toxic and buffoonish she comes off.  So, next, she:

- Again interrupts Lisa...
- to declare this "the whole point is that wherever I was going, I knew I was being bac...coming back" nonsense...
- followed by the bitchy, almost breathlessly dramatic sequence ending with "...and then leave"...
- and crowning it all off with an absurdly transparent "...didn't have time" lie only an innocent toddler or a guilty autocrat would be shameless enough to even try.

Neila done jumped the damn shark here. When someone tells you they had no time to send a brief, helpful text, they're usually lying. Before the rift, she had no problem tapping us to cover shifts, days, and even weeks.

Post-rift, though, she simply refused to ask us for anything and sometimes even sent (prepare to shudder) Ryan to tend to Dad.

Yes, Ryan.

15:30 The Flozberk Scoreboard Debacle
Grasping for straws and stricken with what she fancied a bright idea, Neila whipped out The Flozberk Scoreboard, again cutting off Dad in the process.

They had a household of 3 adults, none of whom worked, and lived about 2500' away. Princess and/or Mr. Corn Log, young and robust, were also often present. We are disabled - mobility impaired due to injuries - and live on the other side of the lake.

Their visits would outnumber ours several to one. But, those visits often involved a 15 minute quickie by Reagan and his rampant half-assedness while we would spend hours, usually in tandem, in our visits getting things done right while providing much meaningful fellowship and stimulation geared to click with Dad and his situation.

In quality of care, we flat-out donkey-punched their asses, then bitch-slapped the ashes. They passed through the door more times; we accomplished much more. The Flozberks are just not creatures of proficiency, perspicacity, or sensibility. We are.

So, Neila ragged on us for having fewer strokes on the scoreboard, HOWEVER, when Lisa called her on it and offered to take more, Neila was suddenly more than satisfied with things, petulantly and repeatedly saying we could not have more time with Dad in yet another eyebrow-raising crash n' burn.

Three things:
1) After more antics by them around Xmas and New Year, Dad was ready to take out a restraining order against Neila if she didn't put some marbles back in her noggin. We were preparing to move in with Dad.
2) Dad would have welcomed more of his son and Lisa and less Flozzies for a long list of obvious, sensible reasons, PERIOD.
3) Neila had zero authority to dictate Jack shit about how often we visited Dad. Fuck her and the poor, poor horse she rode in on.

15:59 Quick Draw Neila
Neila got yet another bright idea and whipped out her phone like Billy the Kid. Seriously, that shit said "WOOSH!" After poking at enough buttons to make a collect call to Mars, she deployed her camera. After all, fairabout is turn play, right?

Lisa offered a smile and peace sign. Neila tried to frame the situation to make it appear she was being forced to leave aganst her will, but, sorry, no - that dog just ain't gonna hunt.

16:51 Surreal: "Enjoy Your...Did You Eat Breakfast Yet?"
Neila was informed they were about to eat over the phone before she Kareened over there, then again upon her undignified arrival. Lisa was clearly preparing food. The smell of bacon is not exactly subtle. Making brunch is precisely what we did there at that time every Saturday for years.

The string of failures amid this conflict, Dad gently standing up to her, the strain of clumsily strategizing, and the unflappable Lisa had reduced Neila's already poor engagement with obvious, already-explained reality to an even more rickety state.

I would have loved to see Lisa's face when Neila's brain banana dropped that steaming butt nugget. Hey, Neila...ya wanna sell me your videos from that day? I'd wager not.

"Enjoy your...did you eat breakfast yet?" R O F L M A O !

17:09 "Whuh joo say?"
After being straightened out on the brunch situation (the time was 14:49, or, if you prefer, 2:49 in the P.M. of the damn afternoon) and pretty much told to kindly take a hike, Neila reverted to trying to claim that Lisa was throwing her out.

Indeed, Neila and I were raised by Dad under policy that it's best not to dine in front of others who are not joining you. So was Lisa. Conversely, it's also courteous to refrain from lingering at one's mealtime if not involved. If welcome, join the table in good spirit or feel free to fully fuck right off, then. Basic manners.

There is no way Neila did not remember the standards of our upbringing unless she was going shit-brained like her bio-daddy The Sultan. Her "Oh, really?" response to Lisa is pure disingenuousness in a despicable quest to conjure up trouble out of thin air.

This is bad faith personified, people. The attempt to grill Lisa that followed is even worse.

And, who the hell wants to serve and eat in the midst of conflict in which everyone's bloody filming each other?

But, to The Flozberks, feeding Dad was often like feeding a dog - a quick hit and run (like with the Mutchie's dog disaster) and more thoughtful considerations cast to the wind. Trouble in the room, so what? Hey, the critter doesnt care and didn't starve. We dumped the food in the bowl and done good!

Basic manners we were raised under aside, Neila's grilling of Lisa over why she wasn't feeding the old man in the midst of a domestic argument is fascinating, illuminating a corrupt, oblivious mind decayed by autocracy, treachery, and decades of endless conflict.

I've loved Neila since long before my earliest memories and loved her people, combined, for over a century. Seeing this behavior makes me so sad for her and all she touches.

But hey, that's our Sue Chef!

Next, she would throw a sad, yet much-appreciated cherry on top and descend her crash n' burn performance to masterpiece status.

17:45 Le Pièce de Résistance 
Still scheming after yet another empty skid, Neila, bless her heart, trying find some way to trip up Lisa, said it:

Are ya gonna be eating?

Perhaps my favorite utterance of the vid. It speaks volumes.

Again, we always ate with Dad. And the food was almost always prepared, not grabbed. We tried to have interesting conversation ready to roll. We made sure talk about our Flozberk woes was a stark minority of our interaction.

But, when The Flozzies were the topic, we didn't fuck around, see.

19:07 Tasha Undergut 
At last, she's leaving...exceptin' fer 'dat..she's not. Bummer.

Wheels still turning, she returned to:

- Warn Dad to watch his mouth 'cuz Lisa was recording, and
- Bum rush lame old Tasha, the center of Dad's world, crunching her against the chair and wedging her paw under the chair leg.

Regard how Neila did not miss a beat in her strategic yapping as she barreled through the dog. It's fascinating.

So, in this short video, she has now intruded on the personal space of every creature in the house.  The way she simply disregards others - Lisa, Dad, and Tasha - is naked and chilling.

In the few times we saw Neila at Dad's in 2018, that oaf walked on/into Tasha at least 4 times. Never did we see Lisa, Dad, or me imperil the dog like that. Careless, inconsiderate Neila was another story, and I suspect she was the sometimes the culprit when Tasha would suddenly come up even more hobbled than normal.

Being stepped on by Neila is no trivial matter and it's likely her big gut + chronic tunnelvision compromised her view down below.

19:24 Neila FINALLY Scores a Point...NOT!
After absurdly claiming Dad was forced to make the May 2018 video, she put him on the spot yet again and thought she finally scored a point, smiling smugly at Lisa in a perceived triumph after a brutal string of flops.

Yes, she leaned on Dad and got him to say on camera that he's not afraid of her (after I spent months reminding him he need not fear her). Woo hoo for the Sue Chef.

Actually, she screwed the pooch ROYALLY yet again, getting things just plain wrong.

Never in the writing she cited did I even use the word "afraid" even though both Dad and Reagan unquestionably feared Neila, a person scary on multiple levels. No, they did not fear her in the sense that one fears a tiger chasing them or a tornado ripping through their trailer park, but she was nonetheless feared and that was no accident.

Fear is a a strong, uncontrollable, unpleasant emotion caused by perceived danger. Intimidation is the act of making one timid by often-subtle threats, menacing, looming, etc.. Mom, then Neila, both autocratic rulers of at best uneven quality, waged a campaign of intimidation against Dad reaching back to my childhood in the 1970s.

Anyone who watches this video, then denies that Neila had subjected Dad to the culture of intimidation that heavily characterized her adult life is either lying, stupid, or nonfunctional.

You be the judge. Does it look like Dad is intimidated by Neila? In the clips from the previous May where I interview Dad, are there any cues he is under duress? Does he appear sincere? Given the evidence shown, where does common sense point?

As for forcing Dad to make a video, that's ludicrous. I'm clueless how one would even manage that without crossing some real ugly lines that would NOT have gone unnoticed. Had he not been cool with it, he'd have told me to go pound sand - we did not intimidate him and he was comfortable saying most anything to us.

Dad was simply protecting his only child from a sleazy, desperate shrew dragging a horrifying history of failure and bedlam.

After being badly upset by more Flozzie antics during Xmas and New Year, he contacted me and asked to make more videos and take legal action.

21:50 Still Even More Failure
As Neila scrapped to develop her futile push against the very damning May video, she started to claim that Dad "told her right after...," but he mowed her down with more support for Lisa, spurring abandoning of that burning ship. She instead sucked on his head some more and hauled out more whataboutism, needlessly reminding him that a man he's known for over 40 years was part of the family.

Her desperate, repeated acts to deflect the dialog whenever Dad praised Lisa speaks volumes, and her interrupted claim that Dad told her anything "right after" the video is hogwash - the vid was made May 17 and they knew nothing about it until August 2.

The attempt to diminish us by snidely reminding Dad that Lisa and I are not married also went nowhere and, well, opened some cans of worms she'd probably just as soon have left in the ol' bait fridge.

23:52 Dad's Closer 
Even as Dad made a statement about us resolving our issues, Neila couldn't stop her scheming and agenda-driven, transactional behavior. Merely shutting the fuck up, getting out of his personal space, and offering the man the basic respect of listening to him without further trying to control the moment was not an option with her.

As Dad talks, Neila interrupts him with a dimissive "Yeah" and moves to (yes, you guessed it!) suck on his head and pet him

still

even

more

as he tries to add his serious, significant input. This is just far, far beyond the pale. How can someone with her history of conflict be so ham-fisted and transparent?

Unbridled autocrats often fool themselves much better than they fool others.

24:27 After One Final Indignity, Merciful Relief
Finally, it seemed she might actually leave...but not without taking the eminently graceful and dignified step of barking more directives with her back to her target as she departed.

This, too, is rather interesting and revealing.

Early in the clash before Lisa started filming, Neila acted the fool exactly as predicted by Lisa before her arrival, prompting the vastly better woman of the two to relay an appropriate gesture and a "See what I mean?" to Dad.

How would Neila attempt to shield herself from that perfectly valid, profoundly-needed exposure? Well, by telling Lisa to not again say "See what I mean?" to Dad, of course!

Good move, Neila! Surely that will produce the exact results you sought without even slightly making you look, on video forever, like a total idiotic, audacious, bitch.

Well played, ma'am. Well played, indeed!

And finally, after that show of well-mannered rationality, she, at long last, ceased her uninvited, needless, self-indulgent, obnoxious, disgusting, revealing, documented intrusion.

24:47 The End, For Now
Once Neila actually left, Lisa returned to the kitchen with an exasperated-but-amused "(Sigh) Charlie," and, of course, stopped recording, contrary to Neila's cynical, corrupt assumption. She then named the recording "Neila's Silly Ass," saving me the trouble of thinkin' up a name.

They had a laugh or two at Neila's clownish expense, Dad apologized to Lisa for his idiot stepdaughter's behavior, then they ate their cold food.

Just as seen in the video, Lisa wouldn't dream of putting Dad on the spot like Neila repeatedly did. Lisa is a damn good chef, but not much of a Sue Chef and had far too much affection and regard for Dad to try and exploit the moment like that.

That's just not how we roll, man. Plus, they were fucking hungry!

25:37 Saccharine Supercut + Notes
The supercut of Neila's saccharine grandstanding is impressive.

I've no doubt that she, in her own weird way, loved Dad very much, but her performance here is just plain sad and no disingenuous shrieks of "What's wrong with showing Daddy how much I love him?" can salvage that.

Every person I've shown this video to, sweet and loving souls the lot of 'em, said, "I think I'm gonna vomit" or the like after viewing the whole thing, then the saccharine grandstanding supercut.

We saw no such displays from her at other times - she's obnoxious as all fuck, but not like THAT - and on In-DUH-pen-DUNCE Day, she left him alone in the kitchen while they had fun at the pool, essentially disregarding him the entire evening.

Same at Tiffany's 2017 joke of a gift-reaping baby shower - after all tootin' their horns about how they done brung in the old people, they shoved the two of 'em to the periphery and forgot about 'em, an act that pissed off Lisa something fierce and delivered her moment of clarity regarding The Flozberks.

Finally, Some Notes:
1. Dad did not like being mauled and petted as Neila sometimes heaped upon him. No proper man would. The deathly off-putting practice greatly escalated late in the yearlong conflict as Neila's wretched influence waned.

2. People with badly impaired vision do not like people getting in their faces. Same for suddenly putting their mouths on them. The Flozzies made painfully little effort to gain insight into the world of a blind man, a crucial path to becoming better caretakers.

3. Dad raised Neila as his own and was part of her life for over 50 years, loving her dearly. However, he liked Lisa more and had much, MUCH greater regard for her than for Neila (or, Tiffany, who was a big joke in Dad's eyes at the end). He was a sensible, downtrodden man who paid much more attention than his submissive nature revealed. Both Dad and Tasha grooved much, much better with us.

4. Neila has grave deficiencies in her regard of The Other, defined by existentialists like Jean-Paul Sartre as the experience of another free subject that inhabits the same world we do.

5. Those deficiencies are revealed by, among other things, her constant interrupting of others, invasion of personal space, use of lies no rational and honorable person would even consider trying, and dismissive attitude toward all, including her beloved "angel" when he didn't fall into line.

6. Flozberk behavior during this incident, the Steven Wilson Night dustup just 3 days later, and Xmas/New Years flipped Dad squarely in my favor, causing him to revoke Neila's ill-gotten power of attorney, agree to make more videos, formally retain legal counsel, consider a restraining order, and pursue a new last will and testament slamming the door on the very paths to take me to the cleaners I now suffer.

7. Dad was killed before all his wishes could be realized, but he went out rejecting The Flozberks and affirming us, and that's the final, most important, unchangeable word.

8. I should have been done with this part of the project years earlier, but it made me ill to watch the video. The pain and stress I feel for both Dad and Neila (and those around her) when viewing it is awful. To anyone with eyes, ears, a brain, ethics, and a soul, it's positively brutal to watch.

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