16:9 Mom Syndrome
Oh, what a poor excuse
But one I can always use
When I can't imagine growth at all
Bill Ward - "Shine" - When the Bough Breaks - 1997
In late 2008, Neila got power of attorney over demented Aydin involving a staggeringly unique clause that stuffed her household's pockets....
...and the livin' large got a-rollin'. They went shopping, with a big flat-screen TV, sound system, and a pretty spiffy-lookin' massage chair showing up in short order to enhance the quality of life of a household of able-bodied adults who were not real big on substantial gainful employment.
Dad saw that TV and immediately fell smitten with modern tech. Soon after he purchased a big Sony 1080p HDTV, ending the reign of console floor sets. It was rare for him to take the initiative to get himself something he wanted, with the last significant "incident" his Grand Marquis back in 1997.
Surely THIS Can't SOMEHOW Go Wrong, Right?
Wrong.
The next day, I visited them and Mom was not at her usual perch on the den sofa. A bummed-out Dad told me she retreated to the bedroom yesterday and stayed there since she first saw the Sony. I'll never forget his exact words when I, as baffled as I've ever been throughout this jackass festival, asked what in the hell, exactly, was the problem?
Well, your mother says looking at it makes her sick.
I stared at the TV for a while and my wellness remained intact. So, I had a word with her and sure enough, Dad was not tripping. Mom grimaced and said she wasn't looking at that thing 'cuz it made her sick. Why? It's too wide.
I didn't have a lot of time, so I encouraged her to be cool and mentioned that her stock will stay on the screen a good deal longer on the maddening ticker. I think that helped flip her. The next time I was there she was back on her sofa and she watched the hell outta that sombitch in the next several years.
That's just plan grand that she came around, but it's a shame that Dad's big TV buying day was messed up by Mom. About 30 years before, his first ever new car experience was trashed in part due to Mom's actions in a bizarre spew of misfortune for me and Dad.
The amount of utterly needless woe, small and large, inflicted by The Flozberks is awe-inspiring.