An apology does NOT necessarily state that one was wrong.

I expect some to be surprised by this. The clock strikes elaboration-thirty, sharp. Here we go...

It strongly seems that it brings me discomfort to cause upset to any living thing. If those living things are people I care or once cared about, that discomfort thickens. Merely inconveniencing people, much less outright distressing them, causes me pain.

Hell, I'm still haunted by a tiny incident in which I made a lane change to gain a few seconds and shut off a right turn on red to another motorist. He was obviously in a hurry and I delayed him for a couple minutes, causing obvious visible upset.

I don't want to be the reason someone's day was worse than it should have been.

Sorry, but I Must Take a Moment to Define "Apology"

"Apology" has 2 primary meanings. The first is an expression of regret for an action that caused upset for another. It's critical to note that said action may or may not have been justified - I've, unfortunately, been both the subject and observer many times when health care clinicians apologized for causing pain. Their acts were, each time, valid, though.

The second meaning is more literary and classical, coming from the Latin apologia - an organized, reasoned defense of one's opinions or actions.

Both meanings apply here.

The Truth is the Final Arbiter of All Matters

After carefully reviewing, scrutinizing, and updating this entire site after stepping back from it for a good while, some things became clear:

1. I stand behind every syllable written here. To the best of my knowledge, recollection, and reasoning, all the material here earnest and accurate.
2. If anything, I went easy on The Floznuts. Not only have I so far held back enough dirt on them to write a book, but also I've taken pains to lean to the side of caution as much as practicable. I detest the wild shooting from the hip characteristic of FlozWorld.
3. I am very relieved and satisfied to have created this site. Does it make me happy? No. Not even close. It was both painful and cathartic to purge and piece together this Everest of horrid, oft-embarrassing sludge. All in all, I'm proud of and amazed by this vast work. Nursing it to life eventually much improved my wellness after enduring great suffering during its creation. This may be the most important thing I'll ever do. It is the story of my life.
4. None of that changes the simple fact that I'm very sorry for being impolite and causing upset to any people I once called my family, and, more important, my friends. But, the truth is the truth, it's one hell of a story, and offering both insight into and warning of The Flozberk Way is an act both reasonable and noble.

Spiffy! But, Is Insight in Sight?

For the Flozberks, that's hard to answer, for they tend to go pitch black dark and cease all contact with those who stand against them. True resolution is elusive to them. Silence is their closure.

An obstacle to their gaining any insight from this unusual and heartfelt work is the bitterly intense tribal thought in which FlozLife is marinated. As I've written elsewhere here in reference to my conflicts with Mom, a "Madonna vs. Lucifer" position tends to rule their conflicts. They are golden victims and their challengers are crazy, deranged, bitter, lying, and just plain wrong about everything.

I can only imagine what some of their utterances about this site have been.

The notion of adulting and making an admission resembling this:

I can't believe I so badly fucked up something so important when the truth was right in front of my idiot nose. What can I do to foster our understanding of it and your forgiveness?

...is a fairy tale for The Flozberks. One might as well suggest they ride a magic penguin to the moon. In my world, though, it's standard operating procedure, and that's totally bad ass. I am so relieved to finally be surrounded only by reasonable people of intellect and conscience who are overwhelmingly devoted to proceeding in good faith no matter how that path affects their interests and egos.

The best prospects for insight come from Tiffany, Langdon, and Reagan. Reagan has always been tight-lipped, like a good doormat, about his household's role in lunacy of which he has been part for a half-century.

But, our conversations with Tiffany and Langdon, back when we used to hang out, resoundingly scream that they are acutely aware of the patterns of dysfunctional antics of their elders. Even though they leapt aboard the crazy train during our conflict, their past lamentations of the suffering they've endured from The Flozberk Way are indisputable and part of the record, period.

I can say this without the slightest reservation - any one of The Flozzters who has engaged this site and failed to both read it thoroughly and glean insight from it is a corrupt, cowardly, awe-inspiring fucktard for the ages.

One More Thing
The icons of the Flozzers in the left margin are stacked approximately in the order of my level of regret for causing each individual (or their memory) any insult or pain. But, again, there's that whole truth thing and here, truth must win.

Return to Appendices

An Apology to the Flozberks