Aydin: The Scumbag Sultan of Sodomy

This asshole was a real piece of work, just like "The Twins" he spawned. As a youth, I liked him a lot, but the more I learned, the less I liked.

As we know, Mom divorced Aydin because he repeatedly cheated on her and gave her an STD after she wouldn't let him fuck her in the ass. For the sake of clarity, STD stands for “sexually transmitted disease” and ass is “that thing on which you generally both sit and shit,” just to be clear.

Great. So we have a adulterous, imprudent, STD-spreading pervert husband of a child bride and father of two, eh? And, one must remember this was the 1950s, not the raunchy free-for-all of today.

Boy howdy, this sure has a bit more zazz to it than the "We just thought we'd be better as friends" official cover story. But wait....there's more! Let's backtrack:

A Child Bride for The Sultan to Ride
Mom married Aydin, nearly twice her senior, at age 16 over the objections of her family. Their union was dysfunctional in many ways. According to Mom's written mini-memor:

In the 10 years of marriage we never stayed 1 single night at home unless we were entertaining. He had to be on the go all the time and (have) total control over me. It was fun but I was disappearing, he never took NO for anything.

Dang! So, he was an overbearing, smothering, inconsiderate, adulterous, imprudent, STD-spreading pervert basket case husband of a child bride and father of two requiring constant heavy stimulation who disregarded the basic needs of his wife.

The need to not be disappearing is quite an important one, see. Interestingly, Mom replaced him with my Dad, a great guy who took NO for pretty much everything. She did to Dad what Aydin did to her (uh, I'm referring to that smothering thing, not that, um, other stuff).

Yikes! But, at Least He Was Great With the Crotchfruit, Right?
Uh, not so much. His recipe for parenthood was equally buggered.

Twin Unit One, John (The Golden Psycho), arrived a year into their marriage. Unit Two, Neila (The Sue Chef), came 4 years later. Aydin, Zsa Zsa, and Mutchie lavishly adored Unit Two while Aydin dryly referred to Unit One with Mom as "your son," a situation kindasorta like this here thing.

For some odd reason, that left Unit One resentful and the two Units were never close. Well, emotionally close, that is. They are quite close in nature, but that's another chapter.

Mom bent over backward overcompensating for that unconscionable imbalance, making a bad situation worse. Answering an imbalance with another imbalance can work with see-saws and enemas, but with lengthy interpersonal relationships it's a fool's errand that resulted in both of The Sultan's spawn being kinda fucked in the head.

Oh, Dear > YOWZA! > Oh, Dear, Again!
When Mom learned of his infidelity by way of symptoms feared the world over, she divorced his sorry ass, met my father, and upgraded BIG time in defiance of Aydin's ludicrous, appalling demand that she never remarry.

What a TOTAL dick. He smothered her in the marriage, then tried to continue afterward. The hypocrisy of a dumped adulterer insisting his faithful ex not remarry is a perfect example of how these people think. Someone should have crushed his miserable skull then and there.

So poor Dad, a level-headed country boy, got stuck with the whole bunch of 'em - Mom, her 2 damaged kids, the bizarre duo billed as her parents, and the ex-husband - each and every one of 'em a current and/or future loony, weird-ass foreigner.

HALT! The Ex-Husband?!?!?
Yes, the ex-husband.

He followed them to both California and Texas. Dad even got herded into a failed business venture with The Sultan. I didn't know about that until I was 50 and Dad finally felt comfortable speaking his true feelings. It took years after Mom died for him to dare to be candid about many, many things, and even when doing so, he'd often glance toward the sofa to make sure Mom wasn't there.

After Aydin waged a bitter campaign to turn the The Twins against Mom, things settled down when he laid a smackdown on Powerball-level odds by meeting and becoming distracted by, according to the eminently reasonable and reliable source known as Princess Corn Log, the “strongest American that existed” out of a then-population of 200 million. I mean, what luck!

That characterization surely carries some truth, though, for putting up with that guy required much strength, and not just down far lower digestive canal way.

But, at Least He Supported His Kids, Right?
Oh, heavens, no. According to Mom:

...they custom-built a nice home with a pool but Aydin never offered 1 dollar for child support or for any need including abnormal dental care.

And this was while living a hedonistic country club existence! Supporting his kids would only have cramped his style, see.

So, now we have a treacherous, back-stabbing, overbearing, smothering, adulterous, imprudent pervert basket case husband and father of two requiring constant heavy stimulation who disregarded the needs of his wife, tried to turn her kids against her, AND was a fuckin' deadbeat dad, to boot.

Things Come Uncorked
The Sultan and his new wife ended up divorcing after many years, and I understand the last straw for his Missus was a wicked hissy fit he threw at a gathering. He was popping the cork on a bottle of elite champagne and something went terribly wrong, causing him to geek out like a sombitch, desert the party, and hide in a back room, making a TOTAL ass of himself.

So, throw snowflake and drama queen atop the wretched pile.

Mom also said he was the worst narcissist she ever knew, but I'd guess ya done already figgr'd that out several paragraphs ago. She often complained that Aydin ran his primary caretaker, Neila, ragged, extremely demanding in his need for pampering and stimulation. That's the opposite of my Dad, who tried hard, sometimes amusingly, to be the least trouble possible.

So, add narcissistic diva shot straight outta Satan's spiked tallywacker to the mountain of Aydin's flaws. What a disgusting douche canoe he was.

Knock Knock! Anybody Home? WE NEED MONEY!
In 2006, his brain melted and soon the fight for this ATM with a hollow head was on as his two greasy, ambitious children, both with long histories of living much higher than their willingness to work and/or earning capacity allowed, bestowed upon us a legal battle that demolished the final years of both my parents' lives and, again, was Dad's biggest regret in an 88 year life.

Per The Flozberk Way custom, each side in the dispute insisted the other side was 100% at fault. Both, of course, were full of shit, just as they were before and continue to be.

Dad, a gentleman, got along with Aydin, but disliked him, especially later on, stating often that he was “About Flozberked out.” Yeah...him and me both, and, as one might imagine, his dislike expanded when I told him that he repeatedly cheated on Mom and gave her an STD after she wouldn't let him repeatedly fuck her in the ass.

Nooooo!!! Flozberked Out!!!
I sure hope that Neila's disgusting, stunningly tone-deaf, deathbed promise to comatose Dad that Aydin was among those awaiting him up in the sky was neither perceived nor realized. I'd hate for Dad's afterlife to suck, too.

Dad, a very amicable gentleman, was right not to like that guy. Fuck Aydin. Seriously - fuck that guy. If your experience with him was positive, GREAT - I'm thrilled half shitless fer ya. But as far as Dad and I were concerned, fuck that asshole. He was not remotely fit to suck the sweat outta Dad's jockstrap. Fuck him. Fuck him to hell.

OK, I shouldn't have said that - Dad didn't have a jockstrap.

Two Things
I'm a rock and roll freak and artist whose mind is pretty much willing to engage any concept. Anything at all. Period. No limits. None.

Oh, hold on....WAIT - none, exceptin' fer two things:

1) Mom getting fucked in the ass, and
2) Mom infected with gonorrhea.

That epic jagoff managed to bring both of those issues to life while making it necessary for me to have to keep looking up “gonorrhea” so I can bloody spell it right. Bummer.

Those genies are out of the bottles now, so no choice but to deal with it and indeed his sleaziness directly made my very existence possible. Frankly, I could do without those circumstances, but, I do like existing, so....oh well.

For more on Aydin's mission to pump Mom's young asspipe full o' dude tadpoles, y'all kindly see the appendices, now, y'hear?

Watch Aydin's music video "A Rubber or Three"
Hey, it's worth watching again ;)

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